You can't run away from your past

The past defines who you are. Whether it be a good one or full of traumatic events, they define you. You can run, you can avoid, but it will find you and consume you. My life is a string full of traumatic events, I have been discarded like garbage by people whom I thought had loved me. I have been living my life in denial trying to forget my past and forgive everyone. Look at what it had gotten me. Forgive and forget? Bullshit. People who wrecked your life, they don’t change, they just hide under their masks waiting for you to screw up, waiting for the exact moment to wreck you again. You thought all the money could bring you happiness, all those were lies, and they’re trying to pay you to regain your trust. After you screw up, they take all of that away and discard you like garbage.

You thought that blood is thicker than water. Blood symbolizes the essence of life itself. But don’t forget, it also symbolizes pain and war. Why do you think blood appears on every horror book covers? It hurts when people abandon you, it hurts even more when your own family abandon you. And what hurts more, I have a physical evidence on that. They loved you when you were a star, when you scored a full A's, they hate you when you start having your own thoughts on them, when you started getting b's instead of a's. And they even rub that information in your face every once in a while.

This is the kind of thing that changes people, what makes someone loses her sanity. How do I reset this, how can I reset this like I did before. I guess now I have to live with my past. 

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Now don't tell me that things will be better...