Assalamualaikum, It has been a while since I last blogged. A lot of things had happened, and I am pretty sure I am not destined to experience a little bit of happiness. How I wish I could go back to the time when I look up to the sky and felt content with I had ; a family. Notice the word ; had. Things are rough for me now, suicidal thoughts keep occupying my mind till I am absolutely scared that I might take my own life. Things had turned way more fucked than I imagined it to be. I feel empty, I feel completely betrayed by my own family. I choose to not believe in the constitution of family again, I choose to not believe in love, in happiness. I can only trust myself and rely on myself. I hate that the privilege of having a loving family is not for me. How am I supposed to be okay when my own family doesn't want me. How could I be normal after witnessing so many fucked up things. How do you expect me to be okay when there is nothing else for me in this world.  I used to